Minish
This page is about Minish, a moron. If you came here looking for the Personality Core in ''Portal 2, please see Wheatley. Minish, known formerly as Minish Kaizer, is currently vacationing in the middle of the ocean, searching for Electric Eels.was last seen running up Olympus Mons chasing after a butterfly.is a perfectly normal human being who would never do something as stupid as to put choice code into his intro paragraph. I mean, DUH.is...wait, what do you mean, "This changes every time I come here"? What are you smoking?is watching you....wait, what was the question again? Minish was a member of the Kaizers while they were still a group, and founded the Kaizers' old wiki, Kaizerpedia. When Shade Link, a very great person, shut Kaizerpedia down because it was a bad wiki, Minish helped create Freakin' Pansy Wiki. Additionally, Minish has been elected the unofficial leader of the Pansy Family, most likely because he is incredibly talented, handsome, and charming. Kaizer Canon Warning: The following is very outdated information regarding the former group, the Kaizers. Early Life Minish Kaizer was born in space (though where exactly is unknown). He grew up on a small planet covered in snow alone, not knowing who or where his parents were. When questioned, he has revealed that his oldest memory is one of finding a decrepit, ruined mansion in which he lived most of his life. He quickly learned to hunt for his food using knives and other tools found around the large house. He also learned to fish during this time. However, he was never able to uncover who the previous owners of the mansion were. After many years had passed, a scouting ship belonging to the GFSFSU landed on the planet searching for life and found Minish. The Galactic Federation The GFSFSU provided Minish with proper food and started to train him in combat despite the fact that he was human and not a knitted sack filled with wool. Eventually, the GFSFSU took Minish off of the planet and brought him to the Galactic Federation headquarters in space. Scientists did studies on him but many tests heeded no results, revealing only that Minish was eleven earth years old. He took school courses from a private tutor on the ship for three open-space years (one earth year) and learning many languages and studying many things. After his year of studying he was granted clearance to a small Galactic Federation starship and, hoping to discover an alternate world, flew into a small dimensional wormhole sighted nearby. Hyrule Minish discovered Hyrule within the wormhole and quickly signed himself up to become a knight in the court of Lady Stars and Lord Link, as to learn about the country's culture and royal family. It was here he met some of the other Kaizers prior to the family's creation. Stars quickly grew fond of Minish and made him her Chief Knight. It was around this time that Tingle and his ReDeads threatened Hyrule, and Stars ordered them killed. Minish, his vassals, and some other knights cut off his head and had his giant robot made out of crappy Tingle game cartridges destroyed using Ilia. However, headless, Tingle wandered into Stars' castle, where he was promptly stabbed and killed by Link. Stars was disappointed, as she used Minish's accomplishments as an excuse to sneak him kisses. As time went on Stars fell in love with Minish. Link now wanted him dead, but Stars wouldn't allow it. Soon, it was discovered Link was having an affair with Malon, and combined with losing her daughter, this drove Stars to temporary insanity. She became Dark Stars and, through the use of multiple, solid gold Death Stars, destroyed Hyrule and killed Link. Kaizerland After Link was killed, the court disbanded. Due to this, Minish and Stars were adopted by AuronKaizer and his wife, Midna Kaizer (not to be confused with The Midna Kaizer). The four lived in the DeFoe Kaizer Manor with AuronKaizer and Midna Kaizer's other son, Zant Kaizer. It was during this era that Stars was in a relationship with Theodore DaCabe, along with (occasionally) Silver, Gold, and Red, and Minish was in a relationship with Lightning (otherwise known as Claire Farron). Many adventures took place during this time, among which were getting Zant his viagra, Minish's PS3 exploding, Minish burning down the Manor, and everyone finding out that Xykeb Kaizer was also a son of AuronKaizer and was chained to the wall in the basement. However, shortly after Stars and Minish visited Lightning's house and the Chzo Mythos cast poker game, Theo and Lightning were found having sex, and admitted to the fact that they had been cheating for a long time. Stars killed Theo and Lightning disappeared mysteriously. The Kaizer Family Once Minish and Stars were both single again, they again fell in love and brought the Kaizer Family together. How exactly they did this is unknown; it is likely that Minish and Stars gathered the rest of the Kaizers from their respective places around the world and returned them to the newly-renovated Kaizer Manor. in Kaizerland. While they lived there, Minish shared a room with DekuStickMaster Kaizer, under which was an enormous laboratory. However, DSM left for a long time, and Minish kicked him out and let Stars move out of her room with Jazzi and in with him. It was shortly after this time that Stars fell very ill with Stellar Sickness. Stars returned to space and chaos broke loose when Minsh impersonated Minish and revealed to Stars Minish's secrets - that he was a Star Born human and that he, too, was sick with the Stellar Sickness. Stars and Minish fought but eventually made up, and for their safety, the Kaizer Manor was moved into space. Minish has gone through many adventures along with the other Kaizers, including defeating his evil doppelganger, Minsh and his minions group. Prior to the Kaizers' disbandment, he often chatted with them on the Aye Arr Sea. Warning: Crappy fanfiction ends here. Freakin' Pansy Wiki has supplied a convenient corner for you to sob your eyes out in to the left. Post-Kaizers Following the Kaizers disbandment, Minish wandered the galaxy, taking jobs wherever he could find them. At one point, he helped Xykeb Zraliv to stop Minsh and Xykeb Zraliv 2.0 when the four were transported to an alternate dimension. After this point, he moved into PK Ninja with Stars and Xykeb Zraliv. Shortly after this point, Stars and Minish broke up, leading him and Xykeb to move out of Stars's ridiculous spaceship. The two then founded the Pansy Family; however, because all of the members of the family are broke, none of them could afford a mansion, forcing them to move into an underground bunker that had never been used for anything suspicious before ever. This was probably not a Bad Idea. Tropes applicable to Minish * Brilliant, But Lazy: Is great at his schoolwork when he gets off his ass and does it. * Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass: More or less. * *Cough* Snark *Cough* * Deadpan Snarker * Fear of Thunder: Claims that thunder is his elemental weakness. * Forgets to Eat * Headphones Equal Isolation * In Touch With His Feminine Side: Very much the first three varieties. Not so much the latter two (or at least he hopes). * Literalist Snaking * Neat Freak: See Super OCD. * Neutral Good * Picky Eater * Ridiculous Procrastinator: About almost everything. * Saying Sound Effects Out Loud: Often says "sigh". * Science Hero: Used his self-created devices and other things to his advantage during the Kaizer era. * Skilled, But Naive: Did all sorts of awesome (and ridiculous) things in the Kaizer era, but was stupidly immature. * Stepford Smiler: Is in an awful mood approximately 40% of the time and pretends he isn't. * Stepford Snarker: Some of the time. * Super OCD: Likes to keep things neat and will straighten up his house...half of the time. ---- Category:Kaizer Family Category:Pansy Family Category:People Who Are Probably Bysekshoeuls